The Rooftop Summer

The protests mostly died down with the onset of Ramadan. Work at the office slowed, too. They only came in for the morning hours. By early afternoon, the office was a ghost town.


David used these long, languid afternoons to lounge in bed and read, or to explore the neighborhoods around his apartment. He walked for hours and hours, stumbling blindly down shadowy passageways and narrow, shaded side streets. The whole city seemed to be napping on these afternoons, a omnipotent torpor engulfing everything and everyone.

The heat was tremendous. He drank water by the pint during these walks, stopping every hour or so for another glass of cay, and yet despite this, his piss was still a rich, coagulated yellow. Mostly, the walks blurred together, one long saunter through the summer heat. But a few things stuck with him. The sound of pigeon wings as they took to flight - like thick paper being ripped. An old man carrying balloons through Kasimpasa‘s ferry terminal.

It was the rooftop summer. Many nights were spent meeting friends atop cafes in Cihangir or Tunel. They were sprawling clubs with pulsating music, narrow terraces looking down onto quiet gardens, or slender dance floors where Turkish soul bands played American blues. 



 




Often, he and Nisan went dancing at Tulip Terrace, a 7th floor bar in Cihangir. It was almost always crowded, and they would go in groups of four or five, taking a table as far from the band as possible, so they could talk beneath the noise. Nisan was a few years older than him, a freelance journalist from the Balkans whose mother was Turkish.

She had a lot of stories about her childhood. Her mother had left when Nisan was only four or five, eventually turning up after the war in an asylum, where she still was, and Nisan and her sister bounced from city to city with their father, who survived by working as a hustler and part-time arms dealer. As things in Bosnia got worse, her father tried in vain to ship the girls across the border to live with relatives in Istanbul, but they refused to take them.

During the war, he’d nearly sold both of them - Nisan was fifteen and her sister thirteen - to two men who promised to get them jobs as au pairs in Istanbul, though almost certainly they would have locked them in brothels in Aksaray. Nisan pleaded with her father not to go through with it, and had even contemplated killing him to avoid going.

“You’ll be safer in a whore house than a war zone,” he’d said, and in fact, it had been the war that had saved them. One of the men was killed during a bombing, and the other vanished without a trace.

In truth, she told David, the war hadn’t been that awful. The bombings were scary, but they grew accustomed to them. In fact, by the war’s end, her friends organized bombing parties in local shelters. The last months of the war were a blur of ecstasy, pot, and strange men.

“I learned more about sex during the war than at any point in my life. Everyone thought we were going to die, so no one really gave a fuck. I’d blow two guys in one night and fuck a third and think nothing of it. I was sixteen.

“I suppose I forget how scary it was. Because it was terrifying, especially at first. But you can get used to anything, even raves while you’re being bombed. All I really remember are those parties.”

David had been twelve, a sixth grader at Thomas Jefferson Middle School, and remembered watching video of the bombings on a grainy, old television that had been wheeled into his history classroom on a cart. The video was shot in night vision, and tracers darted across the sky like fireflies or firecrackers, the explosions causing the video stream to crackle and break, so that when the feed rejoined the action, all David could see was clouds of white smoke, the tracers slicing through.

Nisan ran away from home the year after the war ended and showed up at a cousins’ flat in Istanbul. They turned her away, but she found a room in Fatih and got a job cleaning hotels at night. By 22, she had saved enough money for university. She took the entrance exams and got accepted into Bogazici, where she studied journalism and public relations. She’d been working in the city, mostly for Zaman, ever since.

Sometimes, though rarely, Amjad joined them on the rooftops. More frequently some of Nisan’s university friends joined, Okan, a filmmaker; Khadife, a waitress; or Gizem, an urban planner with the city government. They were all David’s age, beautiful and waifish, prone to flightiness. Okan, slender with an impressive bouffant and an even more impressive moustache, was always away on commercial shoots, flying to Cyprus on a whim for a TurkCell shoot or traveling to Antalya with Coca-Cola. Gizem, who was stocky with short, dark hair and thick rimmed glasses, would be out of contact for days on end, overseeing some new high rise on the city’s outskirts.

Khadife was tall and thin with glittering onyx eyes, and was semi-famous in the city for having quit her job in exports to work as a waitress at a café in Cihangir. A local radio station had heard about the story, and done a special on her, and now she was a minor celebrity, her café packed at lunchtime with people sharing similar stories, looking to Khadife for advice, or to verify that her story was true.

One night, all of them got caught on a terrace a block off Istiklal. Two dozen young men were antagonizing the hundreds of police in Taksim, who’d chased the protestors down various side streets. They indiscriminately lobbed tear gas down the alleys, which wafted up to the terrace, pushing everyone away from the balcony, moving indoors, where the gas was even worse.

Nisan was wearing a pencil skirt, her hair held up, a thin layer of sweat on her upper lip, her eyes bloodshot from the intermittent rounds of gas. They were stuck there, at least until the small mob dispersed, so they had no choice but to drink, and drink heavily.

When they finally left, around three, they found the street littered with the cinders of garbage fires and discarded tear gas canisters; Nisan picked one up thoughtlessly and would later pot flowers in it. She asked David if he would walk her home. He did, and walking past the tomas and water canons in the square, she took his arm.

When they reached her place in Besiktas, she invited him in, stepping out of her skirt in front of him, walking into the kitchen in high boots, sky blue panties, and a strapless bra. She retrieved a bottle of wine, and they sat in her courtyard until dawn, Nisan in her bra and panties, David without his shirt, and they drank straight from the bottle. She also brought out a jar of salt, which she sprinkled around their shoes and the wine, keeping the giant slugs and snails that oozed across the patio at bay.

At dawn, they went to bed, both of them drunk enough that, in the oppressive heat, their knees kept sliding out from under them, their bodies loudly coming together in the still silence, the suck and pull of moist skin.

In the afternoon, after a few hours of fitful sleep, both of them having tossed and turned in the cauldron of her room, they got breakfast, acting as if the night hadn’t happened, and, in fact, they never discussed it night again. The rooftop summer ambled slowly forward, like a lazy funeral parade through New Orleans.

Every Sunday during July and August, a rotating coterie took one of the state-run ferries out to the islands. They were never more than six but never less than three. They usually went to Burgazada, the second of the four islands. It had been the Greek island during the Ottoman empire, and the architecture reflected that - white washed homes, climbing hibiscus, fragrant courtyards.

They would eat breakfast at one of the cafes fronting the harbor, where fishermen prepared their sun-faded boats for a long day on the sea. The meals were sumptuous and leisurely, sprawling platters of soft cheeses and fresh tomatoes, sliced cucumbers and bubbling bowls of menemen, mud-thick cups of Turkish coffee and tea the color of blood.

They would buy bottles of water, white wine, and a few lemons and walk around the island’s north edge, past private beaches blasting pop music and crowded with deeply tanned, saggy bodies. The further from town they got, the more unkempt and rural the island became. The houses were in sad shape, little hutches cut from the ferns and wild hibiscus, olive and lemon trees growing among dusty lots cluttered with salt-stripped boats and old mattresses.

Eventually, the road darted inland, into forests of scrub pine. Occasionally, a horse drawn carriage or a phalanx of bikers would glide past, the horse’s bells sing-songing along, its nostrils flaring.

Their beach was halfway round the island. They descended a slender trail through a shady cluster of pines, past a few tents, and came out on a long, mostly deserted shale beach littered with the remnants of bonfires and barbecues. At one end of the beach was a concrete hut that sold ice cold beer and shots of tequila; the other disappeared around a cliff side. They would leave the wine and water in shade and lay down on the stones in the baking sun.
  
For lunch, they would gather mussels from the underside of the large rocks jutting from the surf, digging through seaweed that waved like translucent streamers in the cold current. They would boil the mussels in white wine, or, occasionally, just grill them right over the fire.

One afternoon, near the end of July, a cloud of birds flew over the island, some vast winged migration that seemed endless, a river of little black bodies so thick it actually cast the beach into shade.

“What the hell is going on?” David asked.

Nisan sat up. Her skin was deep brown by then, except for the very top of her breasts, where her bikini had slipped down to reveal a sliver of skin the color of heavily creamed coffee. The sky and the stream of birds were reflected in her sun glasses, each lens the size of a mason jar’s bottom. She pushed them atop her head, her brow knotted with sweat.

They watched for over ten minutes, the birds still wheeling above, a slow, turbid river of bodies.

“Maybe it’s the big earthquake. It’s finally here,” she said, smiling, rolling over on her belly, adjusting her bikini bottom so that he witnessed a flash of white skin, and he briefly remembered her strolling into her kitchen the night they spent together, his desire momentarily piqued, the way it occasionally rises up between friends, like a warm current beneath the surface of a cold sea.

Another day, late in August, they were hiking up the trail back to the road, their muscles strung out from long hours in the sun. The afternoons had grown shorter, and dusk was just beginning to flirt with the eastern sky. They emerged from the forest atop a ridge grown over with thistles. A strong wind greeted them, and there, suddenly, was the entire, unimpeded swath of Istanbul. He knew it was going to be there, and still, it shocked him. The sprawling skyscrapers on the Asian side were aflame with the late sun, windows glittering like glassy eyes. The whole city seemed lit from within by some molten liquid.

Nisan came up beside him.

“It doesn’t end,” he said. And it didn’t; as far as they could see in both directions - all was Istanbul.

They stood for a few moments in the warm wind, breathing in the scent of sea, drinking down the endless city.

That night, the boat home was overflowing with people; they were hanging off railings, sitting atop the roof deck, crammed together so tightly that lifting one’s arms was impossible. The ferry sat perilously low in the water, the gentle sea lapping at its lower deck. On the main deck, protest chants broke out, led by men in black and white Besiktas shirts. Galatasaray fans started a counter cheer. The whole ship felt combustible. David worried a riot might break out.

“I want to get off. I don’t like this,” Nisan said. The others agreed. They got off at the last island before the long ride to the city. It was like breathing again. David felt the warm sea air, the last color of sun painting the western sky, the city flickering. The boat moved silently away, a heaving mass of bodies, a small beacon of light plying the dark water.

They found a bar and drank cold beer, and ordered shots of tequila, a plate of hamsi soaked in lemon juice. The bar’s owner recommended a friend, who gave them a room for the night, where they slept, crammed in but happy. In the morning, they rode a nearly empty boat back to the city before work, drinking hot tea and sitting in the crispy early sun.

During these months he tried to call Ana a few times, though never with much hope. She’d disengaged, he knew, and he accepted that. She usually responded, with brief text messages, that she was busy, and never suggested plans for another time. By the end of August, he’d given up trying.

Life was settling into expected rhythms. He wasn’t going out as much in the night, choosing to stay and sit on the balcony, drinking wine and reading, listening to the trannies down on the street haggling with cabbies. The intense yearning - that desire to be within the stream of the city’s pulse - was subsiding. He didn’t feel like he was missing something vital every moment he was at home.

On these evenings, he frequently thought of Andrew. During the spring, with Ana, and the languid summer of rooftops and endless island Sundays, he was so immersed in the excitement of this new life, so enthralled with the women and their friends, that the reason he’d first come to Istanbul had been mostly squeezed from his mind. Andrew had loomed like a shadow over the last three years, but now that David had finally come to the place where he might confront that shadow, he had cast it aside, into a distant corner. He wondered if Andrew’s own life had acquired a similar rhythm, if he felt himself settling into Istanbul like silt at the bottom of a river.

With the quiet of autumn approaching, rain came back to the city, too. There were grey mornings when David longed to stay in bed, with a mug of tea and a book. Such days purged the color from the city, everything coated in a soft, melancholy monochrome. He liked sitting in the tea garden before work, listening to the rain on the canvas above.

One night, he was at Tulip Terrace with Nisan and Khadife, who had also brought a friend of hers from the café. He was a small, weasely man from Bahrain, with a thin moustache and narrow eyes. What kind of work he did was amorphous and unclear - odd jobs, none of them above board. He was gay, and set his mind on David, sitting beside him and cooing into his ear all night, trying to touch his knee, to kiss his cheek.

It was mostly innocent and humorous. David would fend him off with a quick elbow to the ribs. The girls teased him, egging the Bahranian on.

“He runs, you know,” Nisan said. “He has great leg muscles.”

“I’ve seen him shirtless,” Khadife said. “He definitely runs.”

David didn’t mind the attention.

At one point, the Bahranian - David never did catch his name - was going on about his desire for David when he pulled a woman passing by aside.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but would you agree that this is the most attractive man in this bar?”

It was none other than Ana. She and David locked eyes and broke into laughter.

“That’s not fair,” David said. “She’s seen me naked.”

Ana laughed and took the Bahranian’s seat. They talked about the protests, about her work, about the coming winter. They left together, sitting on the steps at Gezi Park and drinking tea from paper cups, watching a group of teenage boys play an impromptu game of football.

“When do you go back to Prague?” he asked.

“Eight days,” she said.

“Are you ready?”

She shook her head, smiled to herself.

“What?” he asked, brushing a strand of her behind her ear.

“One of my first weeks here last year, before I had my own apartment, I was at a party. And my friends I was staying with left without me. I had nothing to do and nowhere to go. So I came here and sat for hours and hours, watching the street cleaners, the couples going home. I was very much in love with Istanbul already then. It felt like fate for me to be here.”

She went home with him and they were undressing, but they started talking instead. She sat against his wall in her panties, her white silk shirt half unbuttoned, revealing her flushed chest bones. He sat on the edge of the bed, his finger tracing the arch of her foot. They talked until nearly dawn, about things they would mostly forget by the next evening - childhood stories, fears about going home.

In the morning, while she showered, he went out and bought them coffee. When he came back, she was in his room drying her hair. They sat together, drinking coffee, Ana in a towel, David in his shirt and tie. It was easy between them, and he knew, even then, he would never see her again. It didn’t trouble him. Istanbul was teaching him the art of impermanence.